he told me I wouldn’t believe that he loved me but I do. maybe we will meet again someday I wish it was just later today. I wish we were closer. we forgave each other. this means the world. just had a really true orgasm not sure how to interpret this. gonna try to sleep. I miss his voice his touch his kisses. his tongue. I actually do miss him. we talked for the first time just now I wish things had been different or that he could visit me. I don’t know about china. I don’t really know what that means except maybe berlin if thailand won’t help me with a doctorate it makes no sense to be here.

last weekend a special needs japanese man who couldn’t speak english hid in the bushes on the roof, jumped in front of me shoved a cigarette in my face repeatedly & then spit in my hair. I made a formal complaint, but there was nothing that they could do. there is such a thing to win because you fight & it is quite another to do so with simply being empathetic flexible challenging adaptable & kind. it’s simple.