side note: empathy

There is a funny thing that happens when you cannot communicate. Well I would not necessarily consider this the humorous kind of funny. But rather a sick funny that I care not to laugh at because I remember my ex calling me a clown as he honked his nose and giggled that same word because it was that same horrendous giggle. Who does that anymore? Repeating people in a high pitched tone that sounds nothing of the sort of the original person? A man child. That is who. So social media has become a haunting hunting ground for misconceptions and considerations. The problem with perception is that especially with dealing with another country, little to no English, and on top of this no education, one also has the ability to alter reality to their perception. While I understand some of this happens to everyone, bullies take this to such a degree that any possible sort of common understanding is impossible because they literally misinterpret the lines of your speech so that while I gently and emotionally say “I care about you” and mean it, it could come across as “I care about fucking your house neighbor on the weekend”. I am not over exaggerating. And who knows what these German mistranslations in his tiny mind actually said to him. The word, again, back to this mother thing was that he hated the curse word “mother fucker” which I use quite liberally I admit at times for emphasis on my feelings of being distraught. The literal translation of this as me calling him a man who fucks is mother is ridiculous, and while I have explained this so many several several times, it really does not help anything. Because I know this to even be true with someone translating from what I say to him which is why I lost one of my good friends which is something that I will also go into later that I am still angry about. So yes even with pictures and body language and tone of voice and well everything, communication was not possible. To complicate this further we now have his gang trying to translate me and my favorite member of the gang: Google. Who knows what Google has been telling me all of these past months. As I said before I can never tell who is actually speaking because I can never place a tone of voice. This is beyond problematic. Especially in negotiations and compromise and ultimately: empathy.

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