what wisdom has led to

our greatest invention

is blue intuition

sitting in empty bathtubs


this is what wisdom as led to

I fall without words what is wisdom


did you know how I kiss

to mean with forgiveness

the lightness is something black


this is what wisdom has led to

I fall without words what is wisdom,

what is wisdom I lead to

I fall without words,

this is what wisdom has led to


we translate the river

yesterday I see love

hearts in a press in our hands


this is what wisdom has led to

this is what wisdom has led to

this is what wisdom has led to

I fall without words what is wisdom

this is what wisdom has led to


about kisses

listening to your friend throw up is like failing

and I just had chocolate for breakfast


its bees and horses

more than four submissions

not quite an opposite

I play emotion the kind of poem you call me when I play


when someones shit gets a serious electric bill its hardly as fantastic as the real waste of batteries

a magnet cord silly

coke clock staccato talking steam

wisdom fucks in a gospel              we feel good


how are we going to write poems on tampons in the rain

they will just be unreadable and sketchy

like rap on a rainy morning

I will never go back to hell

then it translates              yesterday I saw love

ultimately about kisses

.1.23 003untitled

in this perfect mud

in this perfect mud         I’m attracted to you

.                                 [the most kind

.                                                                                               barely clouds the blush

.                     [in your mouth              nodes the tales of yellows belly brush

.                     fruiting for

pummeled satellites]

did I absolutely sweet the color into carp


so I was babysitting and you were a divorce.      so I stole your trimmer to dance without records.    so that meant listening to orgies fall in love with you.      so next to heavy petting we buried the milk.       so in the sun she wore broccoli colored tights.    so I watched fucking slugs and you spinning me.      so like almond sun sitting on a bench next to a river with a dragonfly tattoo.   so warm chai like black dogs warm hugs.     so my blue leather dress.     so coy meant music shoulders and a maze gaze.


did you suspect

.                                 limon

.                                virulence

birch loose stalks like soil

we can love things we encounter in forgivness



the most perfect songs

a vase


well fuck it my good

That would mean that I didn’t live for any studies the way that the bodies suck honey or fuck a blow want to marry this person she has too many clothes on im not going to marry this person addicted to heroin speak english I thought you were yelling porn we are poets it just happens honest its usually very shitty so you just gotta laugh more American accent haters are the worse. They are just dicks its okay, the message was taken its usually what happens in life 12 hr days can suck honey or fuck a blow

Mothafucker work really well aright I really want jazz I got new strings they match the olive rosin I got in Italy when I was seventeen deli tinkles well that’s a typo for you sounds like a peanuts redbox movie review sir love so soul good I love my violin again … shitty strings The eyes are gorgeous My eyes Fruits I love you why is it so hard to find beautiful rings my grandmothers it was a false engagement I had to lose it I lived it

fuck this song makes me sad will I ever find my love and gave a family will are you only chance or would you just email me and say hi $100 strings $5 black nail polish and some deodorant because people here don’t sweat? or all use the same brand it’s puzzling and hard to find I don’t need jeans maybe a do I love forever twenty one I’m so confused no one is telling me I have gorgeous eyes to my eyes with theirs who sees them into my soul who can see that

into my soul I do love everywhere I probably just need to sleep defeated Essential it’s not funny I wish I could have protected me earlier I guess I did there was blood It leaked out on to the work bench I had to scrape it off with a spoon I burned a scented prayer candle for a week and the smell never went away. I got drunk and told him he killed his dog He threw the nut cracker at my face.I ran five miles to my neighbors and fucked him he asked me why I hadn’t shaved I’m a horrible human when I came home in the morning to shower brad knew, he drank all day and brought home the girl the bed he blood mine. I don’t know what else he did, I pulled the covers off, I went towards him first. It was me. I just didn’t care, I hated being a victim.

But I don’t know why he strangled me. I was already almost dead. fuck me. I don’t like the questions or the answers I can’t catch my breath just me why sex is so hard, why it’s more than presence or saying trigger words like faggot straight love for me is anything but cliche I don’t want a woman I don’t want to say this In all cases man or woman it was what they wanted first Is this true then I knew how to be loved To get theirs I still have never fallen Will I I’m exhausted

and this is still not me. but for an instant


brilliant the sketch

a child, you are kind, you are beautiful, you matter
you hand in paint
you are safe
You ask the trees their feelings
Not how beau full
but what they give
if they mind death care for the lost
fingers if they dream alone
If they feel the primary wave
Of calm foam
Bending of snow
The beat of heart as you blow
Bare my skin
Run your hands along
Blades rib
On rib echinacea soap the roof the smell of christmas bone to your hip leather my sigh wet salt pelvic soft
You control the strand string codec blue my light between touch fiber
I relax teeth sight blue lips a hum
Knowing nerve to nerve
Water of speech moving bodies
Meaning quiet lips against silt spinning cunt color short breaths to keep up with tangled sevens triangles blotting taste twisted rhythm time
slow talons with tears slow woven dissolves the body past
Many years past chest mine
around your lobe breathing thick quiet beat and purple curls fallen collar bones wax orchid petal ash a home in wind that tree moving the vibration


expand brilliant

we hand paint flamenco, flamingos

safe like nipple rods

the trees their red feelings

not how beau full

but what they give kissing or dicing shells in the sea


semiotics for the last

lancing snow

snail blade rib blow     the last


I run my hands along brunch

echinacea on the roof the smell of christmas bones

to your hip leather my tachycardia seems to me to be a lollipop these days





you control the strand codec blue of speech

orgy  fibers

knowing nerve to nerve cunt color shorts

breath to keep up with tangled sevens


triangles to blot the taste

melon round time


your talon woven tarragon solves pomegranates

turns orchid     petal   hash

to snow that gets my fuck life and warms sweet bitch rain into some soon ones


I write seventeen


songs like apricots

just lame apricots writing sex interviews on a saturday night


photo (6)

Jenny is not a friend

response to tara rebele’s and im not jenny

Jenny talks with ease about the surface cunts of seals. Jenny spent three hours buying vitamins. Jenny is a sponge. Jenny loves. Jenny is angry. Jenny likes unrequited love. Jenny has brown hair but sometimes she wants it to be red. Jenny tried blond in high school and it was futile. Jenny lost her virginity to the first boy who told her she was afraid of vulnerability.

Jenny never drank then she did. Jenny knew he laughed at her. Jenny was sexy. Jenny was sweet. Jenny said yes. Jenny got what he wanted. He was drunk. She was high. And she woke up alone and found him in the bedroom next door with her virginity. Jenny never dreamed of love in high school. Jenny thought about college. Jenny had a nervous breakdown. Jenny got into one of the best colleges in the country. Jenny barely graduated high school.

Next Jenny got a job and drunk fucked her coworker. His roommate liked her but he told her his friend would respect her more. Jenny got drunk a month later at work and went home with the cook. The cook fed her tequila shots and led her to the bedroom. Jenny was dumb confused and scared shitless. He could read her eyes. He fucked her limp. He raped her and Jenny never said no. Jenny has a hard time forgiving herself. Jenny thinks about this often.

Jenny had a one night stand with the another cook. He liked her and she got into a four year relationship. She was honest enough for him to admit he thought sex with women was disgusting. Every time Jenny wanted to he pushed her away. Sometimes she felt that she was raping him. Jenny drank a lot and lived in her parent’s basement. Jenny dropped out of one of the best colleges in the country. Jenny thought she was in love. Jenny went to school locally, went to a friend’s party and woke up to be molested by her friend’s friend. Jenny’s boyfriend blamed Jenny. Jenny met her brother’s friend who was hot and charismatic. Jenny broke up with boyfriend and went on a date with other boyfriend. Jenny didn’t come home for four years.

Jenny’s new boyfriend was isolating and abusive. Jenny wanted to be wanted and never knew love so she convinced herself to follow him. Jenny could love anyone. Make anyone fall in love with her. No one really knew Jenny. He killed their dog and then almost her. Jenny moved home for a week and then in with a coworker and her husband who are now her best friends. Jenny was strangled. Jenny was beaten. Jenny almost went back to him and had sex with him secretly in the bed of her truck. This used to destroy Jenny. She thinks about this less often. Jenny got a restraining order. Jenny’s brother is still friends with him. Jenny and her brother do not talk. He has a two year old boy. She thinks about this often.

Jenny didn’t know if love and sex or the combination of the two existed. Jenny got her masters. Jenny started playing music again. Jenny acted out a lot. Jenny slept with men and women; cowboy, a friend, an unrequited love. Jenny always loved and was lucky to have this love spread around her. Jenny moved to the other side of the country. Jenny sees chance as meaning. Jenny often doesn’t know what’s real except that sometimes things tether so uniquely it seems the most beautiful coincidence that she could ever imagine. Jenny images this to be love. Jenny gets triggered. Jenny changes. Many times Jenny does not know Jenny.

Jenny wants love, but wonders if this is too pure. She wants sexy love. Kind love. Smart love. Trust in love. Jenny is white and and red and yellow and charred black. Jenny waits for signs. Jenny is fantastically strange. She is simple. Jenny wants none identity and someone to know her. Jenny wants sex and love. Jenny was addicted to sex and violence. Jenny was invisible. Jenny is gorgeously visible and stained. She is not a stereo type nor a cliché. Jenny wants forgiveness. And I am not Jenny.

and I cried,

on the work bench by a river                                            [blues in line your time

whereas he put him in the basement                              [you were always unless fine

let his colding flood his insides                                         [I see the apple redefined

this is the day he killed roscoe in the shower                                [blues in line your time


indeterminacy his rage his denial

ask me why my poetry had so many flies                      [blues in line your time

how his mouth full of yogurt had died                            [you were always unless fine

my music my art my tired                                           [I see the apple redefined

.                                                                               [blues in line your time


I gave snake skin gifts to all the neighbors

whereas screams in piston rhetoric                                [blues in line your time

I listened to the canopies of my spine                            [you were always unless fine

he gave me a gift of my spine                                     [I see the apple redefined

.                                                                               [blues in line your time


I covered the mold with makeup

played with the wasps on my left hand the sky               [blues in line your time

recorded state heads and mental health                            [you were always unless fine

a laptop groove pictogram between my thighs               [I see the apple redefined

.                                                                               [blues in line your time


my tattoos cursed with a kelp subway slip

a nudge native snow burns he told me command

I will ever sway a quiet


whereas she could never know how I felt                     [it is raining

sing sing the clean of                                                  [calendula as I look into your eyes

banks full of sage one clouds                                       [blues in line your time

hustling room full of guitars                                        [blues in line your time


ring ring, its raining calendulas as I look on the walls of your pollen korean sex shop



photo (5)


pollen white moons, in house subduction, constellated heart seen present to question


I am three main characters parts of one part start to multiply the other part has a twin and near the end of the movie I say where am I and everyone laughs. we walk up a creek and this old dude introduces a teen mixed with a smile beaming on his face with his heart. I say I love you and he smiles and says it back


in house cia coffee shops are exhausting, that is

I don’t know what to say I realize the only way to replace the pain is with love and I also that this will hurt me

tapping into my teenage angst could simply be speaking about wheat: just say no to swallowing

petting kittens watching the snow fall from the beach

why did you say you were a lyricist directing my head to your dick

your bite mark is innocent

all I want in life is more soup

not a song about sex suicides in the army


why is your bed is made, you seem to be a poet, the wingless weather of a blue dress

we play in the dark, the corner flowers on a branch, pulled leather petals placed against my lips

I don’t need to understand all you have sad


dear magnetic peach

the air under the sidewalk

who knows what I miss

walking backwards

knees like wild animals


1.3.12 009 1.3.12 010 1.3.12 011

I let the lovin

I let the lovin

light my needs

in straight rose folds

brain sweet like seams

I do


like wandering

a texture ease

of intricacy

the person of

my dreams


I let it go

special my hold

kissing light

in those straight rose folds

I do



now my marrow blind

all that I do

rough rouge in rhyme

so lime


in my life

unwind my fall


is caught in hips and broth


in my life

the special tones

kiss me

light in spiral holds

we team


I let the lovin

kiss me dream

in straight rose folds

babe sweet in seams

I do

8.13 0011 10.9 021 jillian mukavetz_neons Picture 001